undertones

poet: andoy castellano

the sex of a long friendship, is the act which is not physical.
it is the smile,
the slight caress of the palm,
the pinch of the cheeks, or the nose,
a smirk,
a wiggling of the nose to raise the eyeglasses,
it is communicating a need,
a short discourse, perhaps,
a hunger of the soul to feed.
it is asking: “have you eaten?”, or just asking: “coffee?”

let the eye stray, or wander,
and maybe the paths might diverge,
it is not fate, or destiny, which will rule,
but that compass at the back of your mind,
of the wish for peace,
a longing for serenity,
of companionship without asking,
without doubt,
without regret, without restraint, and always with utmost respect,
that the bodies will come,
but only if, and only if,
the sex is with the soul.


(from http://evaluna08.wordpress.com/2006/11/24/undertones/)

Untitled #1

It was Easter Sunday of Y2009 and I am at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport. Time was 12:17pm and my flight was at 2:35pm. So many time to kill and waiting was such a bliss: observing people being cowed to a cordoned area, security people looking smart and menacing, rushing passengers throwing shoes inside the x-ray machine, children topping the baggage weigh-scale, sleeping people hugging their belongings, cleaning personnel delivering perfumed spray in the comfort room, techies playing with their laptop, and ugly faces responding to the un-reliable WIFI. Much of this day’s activities were the pre-departure rituals. The airport terminal was not that busy, though, except for the large contingent of college juniors from Laguna, possibly athletes joining a national University games in the Visayas.

I was returning to my work in Dumaguete City, and Easter Sunday seems to be right day to travel. Monday might be a real havoc, when people were all returning to their work. My plan to go to Ilocos was not realized; most of the vacation-packages were fully booked. Worse, even people of the travel agency seem went to vacation, possibly availing the commission as a form of vacation themselves.

My Holy Week’s vacation was as plain as last year: un-eventful. I had simple joys from the company of my nephews and nieces, my father, brothers and sister. Simple joys of just having them around, while we still capable of being around, and enjoying each other. I seldom join big family re-unions. Not that I was avoiding someone; it was just that re-unions are too overwhelming and I was not very good at that kind of fit.

A few days ago, a classmate from high school died from a heart attack. He was working in America, and died on his sleep. His family was left in the Philippines while he worked abroad. Similar fate may have befallen to thousands of Filipinos; either contract workers, or victims of illegal re-cruitment.

Sad was this state of millions of Filipino families. Or is it really a necessity for Filipinos to find work abroad to sustain a respectable life here in the Philippines? These questions are not really hard to answer. Most of poverty and economic questions were provided by simply linking to http://www.nscb.gov.ph/poverty/FAQs/default.asp. Below is a critical Q&A that is interesting to ponder:

Q: in 2007, what is the minimum income needed by a 5-member family so as not to be considered poor?

For 2007, Filipino families consisting of five members should be earning a combined monthly income of PhP 6,195 in order to meet their most basic food and non-food needs for this year. A sole breadwinner in a five-member family residing at the National Capital Region (NCR) is expected to find a difficult task in bringing the entire family above the poverty line if he/she only earns at most PhP 265 per day.

Knowing the economics of most of my classmates, a P265 per day may not be too hard to attain, unless, luxurious living and greed rule their day. A rough computation, a parking-watch-boy collecting 1 to 5 peso fees per vehicle can easily gain a 100+ pesos a day. And that is not really working. What then is really happening to our country that we can sacrifice family life for a materially-enriched living?

Answers to this are obviously in the realm of sociological and anthropological dimension that would eventually lead us to a deeper question of our current culture: Do we really need to leave our families just to earn money that is more than we do need?

04:21pm August 2, 2009
@home, Dumaguete City, Oriental Negros, Philippines

Filipina

My Town

Obando, Bulacan, viewed from 4.21 km and barely 5 m above sea level. Our famous town, that played a pivotal role in Dr Jose Rizal’s first novel that propelled Philippine revolution to freedom is sinking. My town, once so beautiful, now vanishing.

And with every piece of land lost to sea, is memory, lives, love, and, history. My town, my memory, my life.

Below are some pictures featuring landmarks and might of the sea:


Paco, northerly barangay of Obando, looking SE:


Tawiran, northernmost barangay of Obando, looking SE:


Water, water everywhere. Our own waterworld.


Start: 2:20pm 18 July 2009
End: 2:47 pm 18 July 2009
@ home Dumaguete City

Very nice...

Galactic Mail from Asterokid on Vimeo.

Stand by Me (play around the world)

The message is the song; and Spontaneity, is a but a bonus. Great work!



Playing For Change | Song Around The World "Stand By Me" from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

Start: 9:45pm 26 April 2009
End: 9:47 pm 26 April 2009
@ home Dumaguete City

Aguinaldo's version

It came to my attention a very interesting piece of history, nothing less than from Philippine’s first president, Don Emilio Aguinaldo y Famy, describing the negotiation between him and Admiral Dewey aboard USS Olympia. This was written at Tarlac, 23rd September, 1899, more than a year after the fact, and four months after the first Philippine Congress declared war to the Americans. Complete manuscript can be read at http://www.authorama.com/true-version-of-the-philippine-revolution-4.html. Aguinaldo was citing his apprehensions to Admiral’s request to rise against the Spaniards. Italics are not mine, possibly from the Translator’s or Aguinaldo’s. Unfortunately, these things remained un-clear:

“…I then availed myself of an early opportunity to express to the Admiral my deep gratitude for the assistance rendered to the people of the Philippines by the United States, as well as my unbounded admiration of the grandeur and beneficence of the American people. I also candidly informed the Admiral that before I left Hongkong the Filipinos residing in that colony hold a meeting at which the following question was fully discussed, namely, the possibility that after the Spaniards were defeated, and their power and prestige in the islands destroyed, the Filipinos might have to wage war against the United States owing to the American Government declining to recognize our independence. In that event the Americans, it was generally agreed, would be sure to defeat us for they would find us worn out and short of ammunition owing to our struggle with the Spaniards. I concluded by asking the gallant Admiral to excuse me for an amount of frankness that night appear to border on impudence, and assured him of the fact that I was actuated only by a desire to have a perfectly clear understanding in the interest of both parties. The Admiral said he was very glad to have this evidence of our earnestness and straightforwardness and he thought the Filipinos and Americans should act towards one another as friends and allies, and therefore it was right and proper that all doubts should be expressed frankly in order that explanations be made, difficulties avoided, and distrust removed; adding that, as he had already indicated, the United States would unquestionably recognize the Independence of the people of the Philippines, guaranteed as it was by the word of honour of Americans, which, he said, is more positive, more irrevocable than any written agreement, which might not be regarded as binding when there is an intention or desire to repudiate it, as was the case in respect of the compact made with the Spaniards at Biak-na-bató. Then the Admiral advised me to at once have made a Filipino National Flag, which he said he would recognize and protect in the presence of the other nations represented by the various squadrons anchored in Manila Bay, adding, however, that he thought it advisable that we should destroy the power of Spain before hoisting our national flag, in order that the act would appear more important and creditable in the eyes of the world and of the United States in particular. Then when the Filipino vessels passed to and fro with the national flag fluttering in the breeze they would attract more attention and be more likely to induce respect for the national colours.

I again thanked the Admiral for his good advice and generous offers, giving him to understand clearly that I was willing to sacrifice my own life if he would be thereby more exalted in the estimation of the United States, more honoured by his fellow-countrymen…”

Of course, nothing of Aguinaldo’s allegation was ever verified by Americans; Nor grant of Independence was ever committed, either from the Admiral nor his subordinates (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_Revolution ). In retrospect, no one would ever know what really transpired aboard the Olympia. But that is history; Critical events that were pivotal will always be blurred, for a simple fact that destiny was being sculpted by conflicting hands, both claiming to be right.


Start: 03:00PM 8Apr2009

End: 09:21PM 8Apr2009

@home, Las Pinas City, Philippines

Of Idiopathic Me!

For those who are new to the word idiopathic, it is a health disorder, either syndrome or manifestation, that medical science find no known cause. That is the condition that I learn to live with; for no known cause, my mind shuts down. It temporarily withdraws from consciousness, falling into deep and dreamless sleep. Less than a second later, I would awake, and remember nothing . It is a scary at the same time a comic event. Specially, to those people not accustomed to see people falling into sudden sleep.

My condition is technically idiopathic, but there are definite conditions that cause this: lapses in taking the prescribed medicines, lack of sleep, fatigue, and, heat. I learned to avoid these conditions, but sometimes, the demand of work makes it hard to be totally faultless: Example, a couple of days ago, I fell to a sudden stupor while walking with a friend at mid-afternoon sun. This was preceded after weeks of technical presentations and travel. The conditions were just ripe for a stupor-attack.

Though my conditions may be interpreted as purely medical in nature, I never stop thinking what ever happened to those seconds lost from sudden stupor. Those lost moments may be just nothing. But somehow, it is life suddenly stopping, and starting anew somewhere else. Or it was simply slipping from this world to spiritual realm. Truth is, I always returned remembering nothing .

My real fear is what if I no longer return? Does it mean my time is up? Or I slip to sleepless life and waste eternity? In this case, my conscious life is indeed God’s greatest gift: A chance to feel sorrows and happiness, wonder and chaos, sleep and dreams, living and dying. All in all, our moments here are more than the eternity could offer. Each second is charged with grandeur; small packets of indeterminate and surprising events, rolling on, and on... Until we all slip to boredom of eternity...

Start: 12:25pm March 22, 2009
End:01:51pm March 22, 2009
@home, Dumaguete City, Oriental Negros, Philippines

Valentine Entry

My last entry was November 14, 2008. Christmas and New Year (and Valentines) holidays had passed and, I written nothing. As if I crossed a vast ocean and it was un-eventful! Possibly, as most people observed, silence was when heart talking; with tongue muted, eyes became ears. Silence was language gone universal, sounds and symbols useless, and gestures ruled.

Reading other blogs, written words became cheap! Blogs were inundated by pictures, videos, music, and, interactive games. I saw a blog with parade of pictures. Not a single word described the pictures, until I noticed it was a ceremony honouring victims of salvaging: pictures of wooden box, containing the ashes or remains of the victims, was being blessed by the priest and participants, and the rows of lighted candles on the grassy patch of land, as markers of the unsung and unremembered departures.

Words, though may epitomize bomb of ideas cocooned in readable symbols, were unimpressive to lights and actions of colours ingrained in the picture. But there are powers in words that pictures could not beat. It is the written words’ breadth and depth. A phrase “I think, therefore I am” cannot be illustrated by picture. It will always be a manifest of a living thinking person. Written words are source of endless possibilities and imaginings. Compare to pictures that were timid snapshots of actions gone stale.

But with all the higher value of written words, it would eventually lose, as internet intrudes to each person’s lifestyle. Internet, though very educational and potent, carries the seed of its own venoms. With the promise of speed and endless links, comprehension becomes superficial. Human thought is not dependent from how fast information was transmitted. Quality of thinking is dependent on how complete the data-sets were accounted and related to particular issue or problem. But in real world, complete accountability of information is seldom attained, that is why assumptions and estimates abound.

So what then is the problem of information dug-up from the internet. With the speed and vast links that coming from the net, people had grown to have this false impression of compleat facts. Information from the net should always be treated as shallow and suspect. To be sure, better to check information using printed books or journals that were peer- reviewed, critiqued, and even lambasted through time. In this way, although slow, but you are safer.

Start: February 6, 2009 Friday

End:11:54 February 14, 2009 Saturday

@ home, Dumaguete City, Negros Oriental, Philippines