Of Idiopathic Me!

For those who are new to the word idiopathic, it is a health disorder, either syndrome or manifestation, that medical science find no known cause. That is the condition that I learn to live with; for no known cause, my mind shuts down. It temporarily withdraws from consciousness, falling into deep and dreamless sleep. Less than a second later, I would awake, and remember nothing . It is a scary at the same time a comic event. Specially, to those people not accustomed to see people falling into sudden sleep.

My condition is technically idiopathic, but there are definite conditions that cause this: lapses in taking the prescribed medicines, lack of sleep, fatigue, and, heat. I learned to avoid these conditions, but sometimes, the demand of work makes it hard to be totally faultless: Example, a couple of days ago, I fell to a sudden stupor while walking with a friend at mid-afternoon sun. This was preceded after weeks of technical presentations and travel. The conditions were just ripe for a stupor-attack.

Though my conditions may be interpreted as purely medical in nature, I never stop thinking what ever happened to those seconds lost from sudden stupor. Those lost moments may be just nothing. But somehow, it is life suddenly stopping, and starting anew somewhere else. Or it was simply slipping from this world to spiritual realm. Truth is, I always returned remembering nothing .

My real fear is what if I no longer return? Does it mean my time is up? Or I slip to sleepless life and waste eternity? In this case, my conscious life is indeed God’s greatest gift: A chance to feel sorrows and happiness, wonder and chaos, sleep and dreams, living and dying. All in all, our moments here are more than the eternity could offer. Each second is charged with grandeur; small packets of indeterminate and surprising events, rolling on, and on... Until we all slip to boredom of eternity...

Start: 12:25pm March 22, 2009
End:01:51pm March 22, 2009
@home, Dumaguete City, Oriental Negros, Philippines